The first time I heard about Diller was from some excited older kids in my Hebrew school class. I didn’t understand the big deal, and when my friend forced me to apply, I sent in my application as an afterthought. Now I understand Diller a little bit better. I know the program description and its goal, but I also know it changed my life.
Even at the beginning of the year, I was skeptical. It is only now, sitting alone in my room writing this post, that the words of those high schoolers ring true. Because now, I am not sitting alone. All thirty-nine of my brothers and sisters are with me, some a few houses away and some continents away. Regardless, NAS has brought us together and we have created a family and a community that is closer and stronger than any I have ever known. This is a group of people who understands me on a level deeper than most of my close friends, and who would be there for me through thick and thin. My eyes have been opened to new perspectives and inspirations that have completely changed my own views. During NAS, our American cohort became family, as we stripped ourselves bare of pretenses and made ourselves vulnerable during our night circles. We all managed to share parts of ourselves with the group and trust the group to be there for us. I experienced and continue to experience a sense of belonging that I can find nowhere else.
I was incredibly lucky to have the match I did. Chen Yair and I got along very well, and I was so inspired by her. Simple things in American society were called into question when seen through her lens. One singer during the concert benefitting NATAL said she was going to sing a song about being nice, and how that would help stop war. Chen leaned over to me and commented, saying it was easy to say that from a distance, but if Israel was to just be nice and peaceful back to those who attacked, it wouldn’t survive. Having always believed there was no merit or purpose to war, this forced me to reconsider my views. Chen had pointed out an intricacy I had ignored, and this forced me to rethink what I had previously believed adamantly. Throughout NAS, my perspectives and ideas were challenged, and this forced me to really reconsider my own ideas and perceptions of the world around me. Chen also inspired me. For example, she found it strange how Americans tend to say ‘sorry’ frequently. I think this really reflects her ownership of her actions and her self-confidence. It also reflects a mindset more aligned with Carpe Diem; she accepts what is and makes the most of it rather than dwelling on faults. This inspired me as a person, and I found a new confidence within myself too. I was also inspired by Chen’s fearlessness and drive. She did what she wanted, in the best way possible; she never stopped to make excuses or forgo something because she might not be good at it. This is also linked back to confidence, and these are qualities I am now trying to emulate.
One incredibly meaningful experience from NAS was the last night, the overnight at the JCC in West Orange. I got 10 minutes of sleep total, but no dream could have come close in comparison to my experience awake. We had some programming after the concert, and then our ma’agals as was usually the drill at overnights and Shabbatons. However, the transition from ma’agal, where we poured our hearts out to our respective cohort, to free time with both groups, was very different on this last night. At the Shabbaton, we were close with the Israelis, but not nearly as close as we were by the overnight. I remember on Friday night at the Shabbaton, with my American family walking back to the bunk to reunite with the Israelis, I had my arm around my sister who was crying after a very touching and open ma’agal. We stopped outside the bunk and wiped away each others’ tears before going inside so we could have fresh faces and smiles for the Israelis. This was different at the JCC on the last night. People still shared a lot in our ma’agal, but when we reunited with the other group, we didn’t clear our eyes first. We fell into small groups and stayed talking through the night, helping each other and crying together. There was no line between American and Israeli, and we all truly shared with one another. This was the community we had created in 12 days, a community that truly is a family with bonds that transcend time and place.
-Claire Singer
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